I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
