i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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