I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
