he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
