He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
