So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
