Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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