I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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