So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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