You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
