Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
