that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
