We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
