I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
