I'm really into asian looking animals
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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