I'm really into asian looking animals
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
