all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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