We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
