fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
