dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
