just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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