If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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