glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
