We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
