Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
