Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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