For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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