Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
