he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The Olympian is in my bed
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
