3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
now i know why i became what i already was.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
