Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
