it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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