but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize