Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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