I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
