i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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