talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
