can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I believe in your delicious
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
