I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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