i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
