That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
