I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
