Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
