new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
