i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
