you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
