Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

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(302): View more from Delaware

Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

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(818): View more from California

Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu

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