I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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