I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
