matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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