Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
